Suddenly I felt love

As I lay here with my hand laid upon my sons chest, feeling his heart beat against my palm. My face snuggled into his arm, feeling the warmth of his skin against my cheek. A small salty tear drops from the corner of my eye onto my cheek. I do not cry for sadness but I cry for happiness and Love.

Looking back to when I was 24, I didn’t want children. Not that I didn’t like being around the little ones, I had plenty of nephew and nieces to give my love to but I was happy being on my own. I never dreamed of having one child let alone three. Now I have three lovely little boys I wouldn’t change it for the world. I never planned to be a Mum and when I found out that I was pregnant with my first, I was scared that I would never be able to look after and Love him like a Mother should do. I never understood what love was until I had my son.

I remember the first time I held him and that immense feeling I got as I looked down at his little screwed up face, as his little fingers searched for my hand and he grabbed tightly onto my finger. That moment will be etched into my heart forever. I suddenly felt like my heart was going to explode, It was like a magnet was drawing me into him. I couldn’t stop looking at him and knew from that moment that my life had changed and it would never be the same again. I felt love, I felt belonged, I was excited for what was to come, I suddenly felt love.

That feeling happened three times for me, each time I held my newborn in my arms.

When I fell pregnant with my second child, I was a bit concerned with how I could possibly love him as much as I loved my first. I know It may sound a little horrid but I already gave all my love to one child how could my heart Love another the same. My mum told me that my heart was like an elastic band and it would accommodate as many as I wanted it to. My love will stretch but will stay the same for each child. She was right (as always) My heart and Love grew for three children and not one is loved more or less than the other. They are all unique in their own little ways, of course they have good and bad in them, but children do don;t they! I love my boys through the good and bad.

I can tell my children off and I can be really angry with them, but with one look into their eyes and I melt. I am back to day one where I was holding them for the first time in my arms, looking at them as they were a newborn. Helpless and innocent, children need to be guided to do the right thing. That’s what us as parents are here for.

I may not be in a loving relationship, I may not have the support from my partner but each day I live for my children. The love that I receive from them is what gets me through my day.

No matter what age my boys are, they will always be my babies.


instant love


Photo to wood transfer

This crafting technique is awesome! I came across it on the internet and knew that I just had to try it out for myself.

It looks and seems to be quite difficult but it is actually quite simple. The instructions are easy to follow but the result is dazzling.



You will need:

  • A piece of wood (size according to your photograph)
  • Chosen photograph
  • Foam crafting brush
  • Liquitex Professional Matte Gel Medium
  • Mod Podge Matte Finish
  • Damp cloth


  • Find the photo that you want to transfer onto wood. The photographs I chose were quite light and very bright and the picture didn’t show up very well. The photo needs to be on paper, either print it out from the computer or photocopy it
  • I used a piece of mdf which I bought from hobbycraft. Paint the Liquitex over the area that you are placing the photo onto, cover it with a few layers and keep it smooth.


  • Carefully place the photograph, print down, onto the Liquitex. Smooth it down with the palm of your hands


  • Leave aside over night to dry
  • Next is the fun part
  • Using a damp cloth gently rub away the paper
  • Leave to dry and rub away any remnants of paper again, keep doing until the photograph print is clear to see
  • Once dry apply the Mod Podge over the photo


  • Trim up any of the wood, if not sized up already!

Now your Wooden photo is ready to be on show for all to see. I made ours for my Mum for Mothering Sunday, I would have been happier if the images were more clearer but I still think it was very effective.

DSC_1444 (1)_opt

Tips: Use darker images, Use a photocopied image, cut your wood to the size of the photo and only apply the mod podge once all paper has been removed





I look at me and what do I see?

Have you ever looked at yourself (I mean really looked at yourself) in the mirror?

I use the full length mirror that is in my bedroom everyday, to do my hair and to check my clothes. I walk past it at least 20 times in a day and as I do I catch glimpses of myself. I don’t like what I see!

I see imperfections (lots of them)

  • I’m not happy with my thin, lank hair. I would love for it to have some life in it, a bit of umph
  • I am aging by the day. someday’s I see an old lady looking back at me, wrinkles appearing around the eyes, neck and mouth and the skin is beginning to sag
  • I see old aged eyes that have lost their sparkle, maybe because I have had a stressful day and have only managed to sit down for a half hour rest during the busy day at work and in the home
  • I see a body with lumps and bumps, as hard as I try to tone it up Life always takes over
  • The one thing I wasn’t blessed with is a plump breast! Clothes fit perfectly at the bottom half of my body, snugly around my bottom and hips but when it comes to finding clothes to fit my upper half, it’s hard. Being a 32a is not nice. I don’t feel like woman. I try on clothes and they sag at the top, bodices are a no-no and I have to wear padded out bra


I could carry on with my imperfections,I’m not happy with pretty much everything i look at in the mirror. The only thing I see on the outside is an aging lady that looks worn out and has lost her sparkle BUT yesterday I took a good long look at myself. Looking past my imperfections and my looks. Are my looks the real me? Are looks that important?

I tried to look through someone elses eyes and not my own

  • I saw a Mum, a woman who works hard everyday to give her children the best start in life. Even though she struggles with time for herself, she gives her all to her boys
  • I saw 3 wonderful boys of whom I gave birth to and brought into this world, who are bright and healthy
  • I saw a loving and caring person. Someone who helps others.
  • I saw someone who is hard-working.
  • I saw strength
  • I saw a smile on my face and a sparkle in my eyes as I thought of my children and how happy they make me feel

It’s not about what I look like on the outside, but the real person who I am is who I am on the inside!

I maybe not happy with how life has caught up on me but I am happy with what life has given me.

Should children take up a seat on a train?

Recently I saw a discussion on a Facebook page about Children taking up seats on the train and leaving adults to stand.

“Am I being unreasonable to think that small children shouldn’t take up tube seats?” Was the title

Now I travel on the underground throughout the city of London at least once/twice a week with my three children aged 3, 7 and 12. So I was intrigued as to what the general public thought of this, as I read through the comments I was quite shocked to read some of other people’s views. Some people agree that children should be standing and giving up their seat to an adult as they have paid for the seat and not the child! HHmmm.

I was brought up with respect for others around me; always hold a door open for others, allow the elderly to go before me, give my seat up on public transport to those who are less able than me, never to push and shove on a busy street and always to say please and thank you. I have carried on the way my parents brought me up with my children and I should hope that when I am not around and they are out with their friends that they carry on with the courteous manners that I have taught them. Children learn from us adults and to gain respect we need to give it out too. If others are courteous to them then hopefully they will learn the right way to behave.

When we travel into London on the tube, we mostly all have a seat for ourselves. The carriage is always pretty empty but by the time we arrive into the City, it starts to get busy. Not too busy for the children and I to make room for others. But on the way home is another matter. When we step foot onto the tube coming back home it is normally packed and we don’t get to take a seat. I stand with my three children, bags banging into my 7 year olds face, people stepping on my 3 year olds feet as they can not see him down so low. Yet people who are sitting only occasionally offer their seat to my youngest. They sit and watch him cry, other passengers have tutted at me before and roll their eyes in my direction, as they watch my children struggle with their balance and fall all over the train. Are my children, aged 3 and 7 not less able than adults? Yes! they have had a busy day at work and yes they have paid for their journey but what is safest? A young child falling over, getting squashed and being stepped on or an able-bodied adult who can reach to hold on to the bars to steady their balance!?

When on a busy train I have:

  • Placed my youngest onto my lap so others can sit
  • Asked my 12-year-old to stand so other passengers can sit (even though he pays for his travel, it’s courtesy after all)
  • Placed two of my children onto one seat to make room for others to sit
  • Given up my seat and stood in front of my children so that the four of us have only taken one seat in total so other can sit

What other passengers have done for us:

  • Sat and tutted at me for travelling during rush hour (We want to get home too you know! The reason why we are in London at 5 in the evening is because one of the children have attended an audition)
  • Watched my children struggle with their balance and some have laughed as they have fallen over
  • Rolled their eyes at me with disgust, What am I not allowed to travel with my children?
  • Watched my 7-year-old take a seat on the floor because he is too tired to stand
  • Knock their bags into my boys faces. One man even dragged his heavy suitcase over my sons foot, causing him to cry and leaving him with a bruise. Why? Because my son couldn’t move fast enough out of his way as he was trying to head for the door
This is my eldest when he was 9

This is my eldest when he was 9, I was standing holding the younger child

I would like to say “thank you” to the very rare passengers that do allow my 3-year-old to sit down and what does he do in reply to their kindness, He always says Thank you!

When a train is very busy it is particularly risky for children to stand. I have no problem with my 12-year-old standing on a train, even sometimes my 7-year-old. They can both balance and understand that they need to hold on but even for their ages it is dangerous. When a carriage is packed with passengers both standing down the aisles and near the door ways and the train approaches the platform. Passengers who are getting off begin to make their way towards the opening door in a surge. When there are quite a few people among that fast-moving rush it can become unsafe for young children to be amongst them, as they could be forced along with the movement and end up on the platform away from their adults. This has happened to us, but thankfully as I screamed out my son’s name, a kind lady pushed back on to the train just as the doors were just about to close.

I would always offer my seat to the less able and so will my 12/7-year-old but I do believe that My 3 year old should sit! It’s not very comfortable for him to sit on my lap as he is a fidgeter and can sometimes kick out so It is safe for other passengers legs for him to sit by himself with me standing in front of him

What do you think?

Am I wrong?

Cooking The Old El Paso Way #review

Bring a little mexican into your kitchen.

The family loves a bit of spice, my boys are gradually becoming to welcome a little spicy flavouring to their taste buds. In almost everything that I cook, I always add a little herb and spice and I can see how much it has made an impact on my boys choice of foods that they like to eat. The youngest will eat almost anything, the middle boy is kind of getting used to eating flavoursome food as long as he can have a glass of milk with it and the eldest is becoming very adventurous with his food and likes to experiment tasting different kinds, a favourite of his being Mexican food.

We was recently sent a box of Old El Paso food to try out in the kitchen. My eldest was son was quite excited about the box as he loves to taste new food but also his favourite meal has got to be fajitas.

We received two packets of seasoning mix for Fajitas, one spice mix for roasted tomato and pepper and the other one was a smoky bbq seasoning mix. We used them along with a pack soft flour tortillas.



  • 500g chicken
  • 2 peppers
  • 1 onion
  • 8 flour tortillas
  • spice mix for roasted tomato & pepper/smoky bbq seasoning mix

The fajitas are simple to make and the instructions on the packs are easy to follow, they are ready to serve in 15 minutes. The roasted tomato mix has been labeled as a medium spice and the smoky bbq has a mild spice, so i decided to give the bbq flavoured fajita to the youngest of my boys. My boys thought that it was too spicy for them and would only eat the tortilla.


I tasted both and I must say that there wasn’t much difference in the spiciness, but they were both very tasty and didn’t have a floury packet taste to them. The flavours are strong, fiery and tantalising. We added some sour cream to them to cool the taste down a bit.

Next up was Enchiladas the Old El Paso way



  • 400g chicken strips
  • enchilada sauce
  • 150g cheese
  • tortillas

Another easy and simple to follow recipe, ready to serve in 25-30 minutes. After cooking the chicken strips in a little oil in a hot pan, add half of the enchilada sauce and half of the cheese, mix until the cheese melts. Spoon some filling into the middle of tortilla, wrap them up and place them fold down into a baking dish. Pour over the remaining sauce and top with the rest of the cheese. With the mild spice to it they were perfect for my boys, I served them up with cous cous stuffed peppers and a side salad. This recipe is quite cheesy, with 75g added into the sauce and 75g added onto the top of the tortillas before cooking in the oven.


The enchiladas were lovely and crispy on top and the filling was juicy and sweet.

We also made a Chilli using a packet of spice mix. I normally make my chilli dish using spices such as chilli, paprika, cumin and coriander but this packet contains all of the previous spices plus more.



  • 400g can chopped tomatoes
  • old el paso chilli spice mix
  • 1 onion
  • 500g minced beef
  • 400g kidney beans

Once the onion is browned in a pan, add the spice mix and stir. Pour in the tomatoes and simmer for 15 minutes. Add the kidney bean heat through and it is ready to serve, as simple as that! This chilli is really tasty, very flavoursome with a little kick. All of my boys loved this recipe and was their favourite out of all 3. It is packed with rich, deep flavours. I served mine up with a little rice in a stand ‘n’ serve tortilla, the children loved it.



We have really enjoyed bringing a little mexican into our lives and tasting all of the different flavours.

We was provided with some packets of food for the purpose of this post. All words and photos are my own.




A Hen do with a difference: Rolling in Mud

Tft! Tft! Tft! Tft! Pop! Pop! Pop!

The noise is deafening. I crouch down, shielding myself behind the wooden log wall. I can hear people shouting out orders but I can’t see them! Green smoke is all around, I cough as it hits the back of my throat. My mask is filling up and I am struggling to breath, the goggles are getting steamed up and I am struggling to see what is in front of me. The smell is strong. I can hear footsteps nearby, rustling of the leaves, they are getting closer. I am ankle-deep in thick mud, my hands are shaking,  my heart is beating faster and faster, they are getting close. I go to make a run for it, I slip in the mud Tft! Tft! Ouch! something has hit me! I look to my arm, Nothing. No sign. Tft! Pop! Again. This time something has hit my head, lucky I have my helmet on. I roll on the floor, rolling in mud, rolling to cover. Too late! Not only am I covered in mud but I now have a green slime all over my leg. I’ve been hit!

Saturday was my future sister in-laws Hen do and she had arranged a half day for us all at Extreme Paintballing.

We all met in the car park and was taken to a big shed to sign our lives over and get kitted out with some overalls and a padded ambush hood. It was a mild day but I heard that when you get hit it stings so I had layered myself up with my clothing. Even though I had 4 layers of tops on and 2 pairs of trousers, the overalls that was given to me were HUGE. The crotch came down to my knee!


We was all given a lift down to the main arena field in a trailer led by a 4×4.


We was taken to a waiting area where we was served tea and coffee whilst we waited for the first half of the days paintballers to finish their game. Our games were to start at 12:30 as we was only booked in for half a day (I’m not sure we could have managed a full day!) As the first half of the day people exited the battle area, we looked on, wondering who we would be up against. After a quick bite to eat we was ready to battle.

We was given our safety talk on how to use the gun, given our helmets, belts, coloured arm band, paint pellets and ammo hopper. There were extras that we could have bought like smoke grenades and baseball grenades but we decided on waiting to see what it was like out there first before we bought any.

Goggles on. We was taken through to the gun area, we attached our hopper that was filled with the pellets to the gun and off we was led to our part of the battle field. The aim of the game was for us to protect our coloured flag. We didn’t stand a chance! We was talking to the Marshall so we didn’t hear the count down. We was told to run so I did, I took shelter behind a tree. Someone was shooting at me so I shot back. I had no idea if my pellets were going in the right direction but i was shooting towards the other team. As i peered from behind the tree, a pellet hit my gun. I was out! Actually our whole team were out! Heads hanging in shame was led back to the waiting area to de-gun and wait for the next game.


We had 5 games in total and lost all bar the last one as we got help from the marshalls ;-)

It was a fun day, with lots of laughter, giggles, chat and bonding. I rolled in mud, ran through water, crouched down behind barriers, got scratched by brambles, fell face first into thick oozy mud and got shot lots.

It was the first time that I had fallen over, not under the influence of drink on a Hen do.